We are all heros in our own way, this one is mine!


There are unrecognized heroes all around us, the doctor who gives up his practice to treat sick children in Africa, the Jehovah witness who keeps on trying till someone needs or wants to hear about god, the kid who stands up for another kid in need, and the businessman that helps feed a homeless man on the street.  Anyone who lives as a good person, treats people well, doesn’t judge on appearance, gender, race, religion, or sexual orientation are heroes.

I have grown up with real national heroes like Oprah Winfrey and Queen Latifah, imaginary heroes like wonder woman, Shrek, and spider-man, and the heroes around me like Wesley, my kids, my self and my dad. These heroes are the people who have made a positive difference in my life. Heroes are people that think of others with out motive, loving, and non-violent. They strive to make a difference for good, even if they don’t get anything in return. Just like our troops, fire fighters, and police officers. I have many heroes to talk about, but there is only one hero that stands out more than the others, my grandmother.

Evelyn James was a devoted wife, mother and grandmother. She enjoyed her life to the fullest. She was always reading a mystery book, solved puzzles, and crocheting. Evelyn was a very intelligent Woman, she could answer any question that you had, her knowledge always captivated me all the time. When I was a little girl, I remember her telling me about the Dynasty Wars, and the civil war. ‘We will have wars and will always have wars’, she said, ‘history always repeats it’s self’. Then she asked me” why didn’t we learn from this? what have we missed? I tried to answer the question the best that I could but I was only 11 years old and I didn’t like history. She said that time has to return to its same spot; just different people are in it. Then she said “they are stuck.” I laugh, but I now understand what she meant. She always had a story to tell me or asking me question, to make me think. She was compassionate about animals and her garden. Evelyn had a green thumb she absolutely loved plants, she could make any plant grow, and if it was about to die she would nurse that plant until it was healthy to live on its own. She was very expressive, direct, and honest. Everyone loved her that knew her.

She was born in Dayton Oh. On August 11, 1941, she was the only child of Elizabeth and Fredrick Austin. Her child hood was difficult, which greatly affected her life; she told me many stories about what happened to her; when she was a child. The kids would throw rocks, bottles, shoe, and anything that was hard at her, they would bet her up and call her names. This could have made her bitter and angry but she didn’t let that happen. She told me that it made her more determined to be great in her life. Later she traveled to Canada, California, Michigan, Kentucky, Tennessee, Nevada, Washington, Spain, and Paris. Those were the places she loved the most out of her life. She has lived in L. A. California; Detroit, Michigan; Philadelphia, Pennsylvania; Atlanta and Savannah, Ga.

One of her friends introduced her to a modeling agency; called “Abrams Artist Agency.” there she modeled clothes for different companies, make up, magazines, and advertisement. She modeled for a while and she loved it. But she wasn’t happy; so she did some singing, one day her friend took her to this club where singer would sing before they became known and famous. They would just have fun and pick people to come up and sing with them or dance. But she didn’t get picked in the crowd, her friend did. She told me that was another way for people to find there fame, back then. When she told me about what happened that night she said “I was disappointed, but if I had gotten picked, I would not have had the life that I have lived.” in 1958 she went to a jazz bar where she met Billie Holiday, and in 1961 she met Diana Ross though a friend of hers. Evelyn was a very popular person, magnetic, and adventurous. Evelyn married her husband in 1959; she had one son in 1960. In 1961 she began to work at General Motors, the car company. Evelyn and her family saw Dr. King give his “I have a dream speech” in 1963. In 1965 her husband died from pneumonia. She continued to work and support her son. Her mother died in 1983. Because of her mothers death she decided in 1984 to move to Atlanta, Ga. Her son Stan wanted to go with her; he had needed help raising his daughter. So she changed her life to help her son Stan, my father, raise me.

Evelyn married again in 1986 to a small town lawyer named Willie A. James. In 1988 she went to school to become a family counselor. Evelyn wanted to help people see farther then what they saw so they could make a change for the better. She always said that you have to help people help themselves. Her husband died in 1991, from a hit and run. That same year Evelyn was supposed to graduate and get her degree in counseling. Because of what happened to her husband she was unable to finish. In 1998 she moved to Savannah Ga. Evelyn died in 2002. Listening to her stories about her journey has been inspirational to me. In her last days she admitted to me that maintaining a positive outlook was a continual struggle, but it taught her how to be diligent. She told me to learn not to be afraid, and to not be imprisoned by how serious I think life is. That is the key to being balanced and successful. Then she said ‘thank you’ to me. I said, ‘why are you thanking me’, she said ‘for being my hero’. I looked back at her and smiled, I said, ‘no, thank you’. Evelyn, was my mom, my grandmother, my sister, my bestfriend; she inspired me and others with her sharp wit and generous spirit. She was a true example of a life well lived.

Evelyn helped me learn that we all are heroes, even if it is just for your self.  Knowing all of your own pain and being able to stand up, and deal with it makes you a hero already. The little things that we don’t think that helps a person, makes us a hero to them.

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How do we define our Christianity?

I have been thinking a lot about Christianity. We all define Christianity in different ways but what brought me to this question was what I have noticed online. When I am on the social site called Facebook (mostly); people have displayed how they have to live by God and how God is the way. This of course is not the problem that bought me to the question. More so, it has to do with being able to display such beautiful words in which is what they believe is good to share and how they display other things that says what is really going on, have they lost faith in what they believe. I have to question; do people really act like that when they are not posting things about God? Do they remember God when something doesn’t go right? Maybe we should remember how to stay just as focus on God in our everyday life like we focus on Facebook and any other thing that we will give up most of the day for.

I feel that there are three key ethics that do define Christianity; those are being able to take out the time to worship in the spirit of God, to have glory in Christ, and to put no confidence in the flesh. These ethics that will give us the determination to make the choices to reframe from the things we should not do and focus on what is needed. It was important to me to ask these questions to others, so I interviewed three people to find out what their thoughts on the question. The first one said “that Christianity is supposed to be a religion of love; but so many of its followers are judgmental. We don’t have to bend to those that want us to do the things that we may feel is wrong or something that will make us feel less of a Christian. Nevertheless, we have to rise above it by showing that we as people can break free from the calamity that others bring into our life. When it comes to Facebook and other social sites, it is something that can easily be misused, that helps those come together and share things that are learned, and that will offer a way to be free from the judgments that we face daily. These social sites can cause us to sway into a feeling of hopelessness and bring us to an unbalanced frame of thinking. Changing how we ourselves are looked at as Christians.”

The second person said, that “I am Christian but I don’t know how I define my Christianity. I do have Christian ethics that I follow, which these help me to live my life with love. However, I also feel that I am ‘doomed’ because my beliefs are not in complete compliance with Christianity. I feel more so that Christianity is a religion whose central concern is to judge and damn the non-Christians; leaving me feeling like it is all a lie. Christianity is neither about simply living your life with love nor about judging other people based on their beliefs which may or may not fall in line with yours. Christianity is about choosing to follow, learn from and worship Jesus. So the bottom line is that I don’t feel like only saying or quoting from the bible on Facebook and then discussing something that shows that we didn’t think of God, is wrong. But it is the right that God gave us to teach others. Therefore, is it wrong to show judgment on what others say on Facebook? Furthermore, I believe in Jesus in the sense that I believe he was alive and walked the earth, but I don’t believe he was the messiah. ”

What a great question that was asked I thought… I answered the second person’s question, “it isn’t that it is a judgmental thing; a Christian is something that most people will use but don’t understand the meaning of it because of the different understandings that millions have. Understanding people’s Christian ethics and the link to a person’s behavior seems to disappear on social sites that offer a way to talk about their day to day challenges or it can be bought to light because they can share their beliefs with others.

The third person gave to me an answer that I felt was the best answer, they said “Without choices there’s no love, just fear and manipulation. When we use social sites this is what we get, we want to be liked so we will say what we think the public will want to read and respond to. The internet in its self is a big grave of manipulation. Do you think that God himself wanted to have robots? Heck no! He wants people who are of all faiths; nationalities, sexual choice, and etc. to voluntarily choose him and his truth, against the lies of the world and the pull of sin. It is up to us to share what we love and the things we are confused on so that we may grow and others can to. We are here to learn and to teach. It is the human way. I feel that we separate things too much like religion, politics and so on. These things will cause confusion and we miss the whole point. The point is Like, Love, Listen, Learn and Let go”.

I can honestly say that after having this interview it has shown me that a judgment against anybody is a judgment against yourself. I think that an individual’s actions must agree with their beliefs. If a person has comprised this at any time they themselves should question the deeper meaning behind their behavior and their own beliefs. It doesn’t matter about anything else as long as the person can recognize what they have done wrong and change it. Just like the people on Facebook, they are displaying what they believe to be true to them, ethics and all. If anyone has accepted any religion which has derived from Jesus Christ and believe that Jesus died for everyone’s sins as well as following in Jesus’ footsteps, then they are Christians. It doesn’t matter if they are of the Bahá’í Faith, Mormon Faith, Catholic Faith, Protestant Faith, and the other different denominations that are out there. Many denominations alter the definition of “Christian” to exclude other denominations. If someone tells me they are Christian then as far as I’m concerned they are. Christ is more than a system, tradition, or belief. He is a Person who knows our needs, feels our pain, and sympathizes with our weakness. In exchange for our trust, He offers to forgive our sins, to intercede for us, and to bring us to His Father. He cried for us, died for us, and rose from the dead to show that He was all He claimed to be. Conquering death, He showed us that He can save us from our sins, live His life through us on earth, and then bring us safely to heaven. He offers Himself as a gift to anyone who will trust Him. This was said John 20:24-31.


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Wishing You All…

Wishing You All A Merry Christmas Filled With Joy Happiness Good Health And Blessings That Comes From Above An May You Prosper As You Start A New Year.

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Learning Has No Age!!

There are some things that I will always believe; some of those include a life of quality, enjoyment, and wisdom. I never suspected that I would have to learn how to live the way that I have. It took time but it was well worth it; like with anything there were specific disciplines and ways of seeing the world. I had to master these key things before I could awaken to a simple, happy, uncomplicated life. I would not have come to this understanding to feeling the most happiest; if it wasn’t for my son growing together, the process would have been slower. My son has been able to point out the important things for me to stay grounded. I like that he is able to express gratitude; he is very appreciative with what he has and appreciates value.  I do feel that being grateful for the goodness that is done will bring a deeper sense of happiness.  If we aren’t thankful for what we already have, we’re going to have a hard time finding a way in being happy.

Another thing that my son has helped me to understand is how to improve on a way that will making being happy really easy. He explained to me that all I would have to do is to really savor life’s joys. What he meant was that in order to have deep happiness, one would have to slow down to enjoy the joy. He further explained that happiness stems from joy and they both have to coexist with one another. If people were able to slow down in there busy day they too would discover the essence of joy. What deep words I thought from my son. How could my 13 year old son understand the mechanics of happiness; how it is so easy for him to see the world around him with wild stimuli and omnipresent movement to forget to embrace life’s enjoyable experiences.  I do agree with his understanding, I too find that we as grownups will at times neglect to appreciate. When this takes place we have an empty shell that we will poor into, missing the moments of magic.  It’s the simple things in life that can be the most rewarding if we remember to fully experience them.

He is now learning about self-worth and self-reliance in church. I must say it is some good stuff that he is learning. The best part is that he is able to display his new understanding in his behavior here at home. He came to me and said that he notice when he has physical energy he is happiest; but when he isn’t he is the least bit interested in anything and his mood is sad. He told me that he feels that it is important to carry out good behavior with taking care of your body. I do agree that this is crucial to being the happiest person you can be. It is uplifting for your mental energy (your focus), your emotional energy (your feelings), and your spiritual energy (your purpose) will all be negatively affected.  I also think that taking care of your body can give a person a higher sense of self-accomplishment as well.

I love my son so much; he is the best thing that ever happened to me. I truly feel that my son has saved my soul from anger, has filled my heart with forgiveness and has blessed my mind with hope. He is wise in his own way and is willing to share what he has learned from life. His Uniqueness is priceless, I couldn’t ask for a better son than the one that I already have.

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Inspired By Friendliness

I love it when I am out and people just come up to talk to me, I think I have a very inviting spirit about myself. This woman name Linda, whom I didn’t know before today was walking out of the store and saw me; she said to me for no reason “I am surprised that I am so cold, being that I am from Canada”. I responded, by say I know what you mean, I am from Ohio”. She was older than me and way cooler; I thought to myself, I can only hope that when I get to be her age I will be like that. I was amazed at the fact that she stopped me to have a conversation! In that moment while she was talking, I noticed her confidence and how it made her a great person in her life. She was very humorous and lighthearted; it was so nice to talk to such an open person. I think that it is important for people to feel comfortable enough to talk to people that they don’t know. By doing this it can help the person feel good about themselves and they themselves will be thankful that you brought some fun into their world. I know this is how I felt and it had such a lasting effect on me as a whole. Throughout our conversation she told me that she set out a plan to have a minimum of 3 people whom she had never met before and then have a conversation that could lead to a long lasting friendship or just for that moment. I asked what made decide to do this, she said “life was short and I wanted to meet people and help them. My job wasn’t doing it and volunteering wasn’t cutting, everything was 1…2…3. I wanted to help people in a way that reach their hearts and warm their soul”. Wow, what a powerful feeling that she had. Talking to people and finding comfort in the conversation with them gave her what she needed, reassurance. Making her feel and know that she was amazing.


“The difference between a friend and an enemy is friendliness.”― Frank Delaney


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The Spirit of Giving

I got to experience the wonderful spirit of truly giving. I was out with my family eating before the big hustle of last minute shopping that needed to be done. It was one of those days where you just needed a pick me up from all the stress that seems to bombard us every day. I was really was having one of those days. Everything seemed to be going downhill around me and very little seems to be changing. I really needed to see a gesture that there was kindness. All this month, I have seen so many car accidents, disasters where families have lost their homes cause of fires, evictions from their homes, and much more. I have felt the devastation of lost for the many other people around me. So my spirit has not been the strongest that it is normally.Where are the people that have the spirit of Christmas? Well I met some people like that today!

To top it all off it happened to be people that were teenagers, what joy that was!. After my meal with my family at the Texas Roadhouse which sits inside the mall, my children and I, went to the play area in the mall so that my four year old daughter could play for thirty minutes. We began to exit the mall and proceeded to the target store where my car was sitting in the parking lot. I wanted to get some bananas so I got them and went to the check out. Well this is when I was approached by 5 teenagers. They said that they were looking for different people to give gifts to for Christmas, and they wanted to give a gift to my four year old. I agreed that she could have one. They gave her a big fluffy stuff dog. This action of kindness and giving help lift my spirits.

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“Tis the season to indulge in the spirit of giving, and leave it to a group of forward-thinking individuals and corporations to collaborate on a project that will keep giving long into the future”

I think that we should remember that the spirit of Christmas is the spirit of giving and thinking about others. It’s a time for celebration of life and of those who are sharing our life with us. The 5 teenagers were able to help me remember that and although we will have struggles, it is good to be reminded that there are people in our lives who are worth this aggravation, and people to whom we are worth the same. Instead of being a time of unusual behavior, Christmas is perhaps the only time in the year when people can obey their natural impulses and express their true sentiments without feeling self-conscious and, perhaps, foolish. If only this sense of self could be like this every day of the year.

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So I challenge everyone to think about ways that you can show generosity of spirit, it doesn’t have to do with your pocket. Here are a couple of suggestions that I have done already.

1. Give compassion today to someone who is hurting… even if you can see they have dug their own hole.

2. Give the gift of time to someone who needs to process her thoughts out loud.

3. Give forgiveness remembering God has forgiven you.

4. Give encouragement to someone who is frustrated or discouraged.

5. Give a place at your table and share a meal.

You are welcomed to leave some suggestions that you have done or will do, to me and others to try in the comment area. Thank you all for sharing and Merry Christmas!

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The Meaning of The Real Joy of Christmas

I have been recently thinking about what Christmas means. It is a time of happiness towards everyone that I know. The one thing that I love the most is being able to spend time with my family and close friends. I believe that during this time of the year most people feels that family and friends come first in their lives, so this is obviously a very preferred holiday to celebrate. I am sure there are some Grinch’s out there, but how could anyone pass up the chance to feel the happiness that others bring. Maybe I am just a sap when it comes to these things, but I believe that the Christmas spirit is just that strong to change the bitterest heart. Christmas is a magnificent season of the year.

It is also a busy time for most of us. It is important that we may not become so caught up in the stresses of the season that we place our emphasis on the wrong things. Sometime we will put so much emphasis on getting that special gift we forget the best gift of all, ourselves! I think that it is very exciting when we are able to exchange gifts; however, I do feel that this simple sweet gesture is often taken for granted. This as well as other holidays are usually associated with receiving gifts, but we should be able to remember the reason why we do them in the first place. It is the simple joys of commemorating the birth of the Holy One of Bethlehem.

I personally, I think giving a gift is just as great as receiving one; but the most disappointing thing is, the gifts that we want to receive and being disappointed when we don’t get them; for the other side is the thoughtlessness in the giving because of feelings about the person and the time we didn’t have to make the purchases. Finding the real joy of Christmas comes not in the hurrying and the scurrying to get more done. The whole idea of finding that perfect gift, making someone smile, and him or her realizing that you put that much thought into just one gift is just one way which Christmas brings happiness to everyone.

Our celebration of Christmas should be a reflection of the love and selflessness that has been taught. Giving; not getting, this brings the Christmas spirit to a full bloom. In conclusion to how I feel about Christmas I can see how we all can do good, become more kindly to one to another, and reaching out in a loving way to help those less fortunate. Our hearts are softened, enemies are forgiven, friends remembered, and family is accepted. The spirit of Christmas illuminates the picture window of the soul, and we look out upon the world’s busy life and become more interested in people than in things. To catch the real meaning of the spirit of Christmas, we need only drop the last syllable, and it becomes the Spirit of Christ.

Christmas time is my favorite time of year. I love when it’s time to shop for all those Christmas gifts for everyone, the red and green decorations, the first snow fall, the crackling warm fireplace, hot coco, the smell of fresh bake cookies,  great Christmas movies, the Christmas music and my beautifully decorated Christmas tree sitting in my living room. But most of all, I love this time of year because I get the chance to be with my family and friends while I enjoy everyone’s Christmas cheer during this wonderful time of year.

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